When We Lose Our Footing

It was a hot and humid summer in St. Louis. We had a large garden to maintain. Any outside work had to be completed before 8 a.m. if I wanted to enjoy the cool of the morning.

I woke up early, threw on my gardening clothes, slid on my glasses and headed down the hallway. By the time I had reached the kitchen, I felt a little wobbly. Grabbing the back of a chair and moving toward the sliding door, I opened it and stumbled down the stairs to the patio.

I told myself I had not given my body and brain any food, or enough time to wake up. I just needed to move slower. I maneuvered my way to the hose, picked it up and turned on the water. As I walked across the yard to the garden, I found myself fighting for balance. The ground seemed to be moving under my feet. It took every muscle in my body to stay upright.

I fought to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground as I was hit with a wave of nausea. Leaning toward the right, I gripped the hose tighter as if doing so would keep me from falling. In those early morning hours, I came to the only conclusion I could. I was having a stroke. I knew I had to go back inside to my husband.

I dropped the hose and slowly turned toward the faucet. As I made my way back across the yard, each step forward also took me a little further to the right, requiring several course corrections. Reaching the faucet, I collapsed against the wall of the house and reached down to shut off the water. Using the wall to keep my balance, I made my way back to the patio door.

My head was full of thoughts about my family, the impact this would have on them, what my life would be like afterward or if I would even survive it. Grabbing hold of the door, I pulled myself into the kitchen. Launching my body toward a chair, I held on. I then moved from chair to chair around the kitchen table, finally throwing myself toward the hallway. I hit the far wall and bounced off like a ping pong ball, hitting first one wall and then the other. The last bounce sent me stumbling across the hall and into our bathroom.

I had not planned on ending up in the bathroom but since I was there, I turned toward the mirror searching for any signs of stroke. My reflection seemed off. Something was wrong with my glasses. I pulled them off and gave them a good look. I had been wearing my husband’s glasses. The nausea left me at once. I could stand up straight and the ground beneath my feet was as stable as it had always been. I wasn’t having a stroke. My world was just out of focus and no matter how hard I tried to adjust to it, my body and my brain were not capable of making those adjustments.

There are times in our lives when the ground beneath our feet might seem unstable. Maybe we are trying to maneuver our way through a crisis but we feel as if we are stumbling around. Our lives can feel out of control and we have no idea what the next steps will bring. We might be concerned about the choices we make and how they impact the lives of others. Everything seems out of focus.

When we feel unsteady or uncertain, there is great hope in the scriptures. "Though he fall, he will not be utterly be cast down; for the LORD upholds him with His hand" (Psalm 37:24).

To get a clear picture of what is going on, we may need to take off the glasses we see events through and ask God to show us the real picture. Ask Him to help us refocus and regain the strength we need to keep moving forward or make any needed course corrections. Through prayer and Bible study we can find that balance we might have lost along the way and find the firm ground under our feet once again. Psalm 32:8 offers insight into God's willingness to help—God says "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye."

Life can be difficult, and some trials have long lasting effects on us and those we love. However, refocusing on Him and asking for His guidance can help us as we maneuver our way through those times which leave us feeling as if we are bouncing from one wall to another.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6, English Standard Version).