The Trouble with Self-Deception

The Trouble with Self-Deception

Intro:

All too often we convince ourselves that doing the wrong thing is the right thing to do.  At first blush we know the right thing to do, and then we meander, right?  On principle, deep down inside we know what action we should take, what thing we should say, which direction we should go.

The next thing you know we start to compromise and justify the wrong thing to do until we have convinced ourselves that the wrong thing is the right thing to do.

I am not saying we all do this all the time, but I think if we are honest with ourselves we can admit we engage in this self-deceiving behavior entirely too often.

As a young boy I hung out with a buddy and we would bicycle about town in Pasadena.  Sometimes we would pretend our bicycles were airplanes, and we would engage in dog fights.  My buddy always wanted to be the German ace, and I always wanted to be the American ace.  My friend had a German heritage, so I understand his predilection at that age.  When we would tire of our game sometimes we would go to the local grocery store and purchase a candy bar if we had enough change.  You could buy a pretty decent candy bar for $0.05 to $0.10!

On one of these adventures my buddy dared me to steal the candy bar.  I knew it was the wrong thing to do.  I knew the right thing to do was say “no.”  So I said no!  Then my friend called me “chicken.”  Now I knew stealing was wrong, but I somehow convinced myself that being chicken was worse than stealing. I justified pocketing the candy bar and stealing it because by doing so I was “brave.”  I managed to deceive myself into believing the right thing was appearing brave to my buddy, versus refraining from theft.  When my buddy and I arrived back at my house, he promptly said to my mother “Mrs. Hill, Jonathan stole a candy bar at the store!” My buddy betrayed me, and my opinion of him took a decidedly negative turn!

 

I wish that was the only time I was foolish, and engaged in self-deception!

I recently attended an excellent training provided by Hannah Pebworth, who provides “train the trainer” sessions as a professional to various companies.  As preparation for the training Hanna gave I was required to read a book authored by “The Arbinger Institute” titled “LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION – getting out of the box.”

I think the book provides some excellent principles that we should consider as we approach the Passover, and examine our spiritual condition and growth.

SPS: Today we will learn about some principles of “self-betrayal” that ensnare us, and how to avoid the trap of self-deception.

The Arbinger Institute lists the first principle of self-betrayal as follows:

1. “An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another is called an act of “self-betrayal.”

 

Let us think of “another” as God, as our Holy Father and Jesus Christ our Savior.Let us think of “another” as our parents, brethren, friends and neighbors.

 

I knew that should have obeyed my parents, and obeyed God’s command “Thou shalt not steal.”In spite of that I allowed my pride as a young boy to motivate me to steal, to impress my friend.The act of stealing was contrary to what I knew I should have done, and that was to not steal and ignore my buddy’s challenge.In that one contrary act I disobeyed my God and my parents; gave a poor example to my buddy; contributed to higher prices my friends and neighbors had to pay that the store had to charge to compensate for theft and insurance costs.

 

We are not to be “men-pleasers” (Ephesians 6:5-7)
 

 

Too often we can deceive ourselves into disobeying God and betraying God as well as ourselves and others because we want to look good, and impress others in ways that are completely wrong.

 

As we examine ourselves let us remember one way we can avoid acting contrary to what we know we should do for God and others is to be “God-pleasers” rather than “men-pleasers.”Most often you will find that when you please God, men (or women) will be pleased.Not always of course!

 

1. The second principle of self-betrayal is “When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a way that justifies my self-betrayal.”

“The Arbinger Institute” points out that we have a choice to make before we act on a feeling we know is the right thing to do, or not do.  We can honor that feeling, or we can betray it and thus betray ourselves.

When my buddy first dared me to steal the candy bar I knew without doubt that I should refuse.  I had a strong feeling that the right thing to do was to obey my parents and God, and not steal the candy bar.  Then instead of honoring that feeling, I betrayed myself and God, and parents by choosing to view the world from my buddy’s eyes and justify my theft because I convinced myself I would be a chicken if I did not steal it.  In fact, I was chicken because I did not stand on my principle and honor what I knew to be right.

(Psalm 27:14, Psalm 31:23-24) - Courage

(James 1:14-15) – Giving in to wrong desires leads to sin.

Avoid that trap of self-deception by showing courage and not giving in to wrong or evil desires. 

The fruit may be pleasing to the eye, but deadly to the body and/or soul (Genesis 3:6).  Remember this mistake and don’t repeat it!  Do not create a pattern of self-betrayal through self-deception.  When we know and feel what the right thing to do or not do is; honor that feeling!

1. The third principle of self-betrayal is “When I see the world in a self-justifying way, my view of reality becomes distorted.”

 

I think we often view ourselves as the victim, and our reality is distorted because we do not want to blame ourselves for our reality.We blame others or circumstances rather than our own self-betrayal as the source of our misery.

(Genesis 3:11-13)

My mom and dad had absolutely no sympathy for me when I explained that my “buddy” pushed me to steal the candy bar in a dare.  I justified my action by telling them my buddy made me do it!  I most certainly would not have stolen that candy bar if my buddy hadn’t dared me to do it, right?  So my buddy is the evil one and I was just a hapless victim of his plot to shame me in front of my parents.

In reality I betrayed my own principles, and stole when I knew it was wrong to steal. My view of reality was distorted and I ended up as a victim of my own self-deception, and not a victim of my buddy prodding me to steal.

How can we avoid being a victim of our own self-deception?

(Colossians 2:1-4)

1. “So—when I betray myself, I enter the box (of self-deception).”

(2Peter 2:1-3; 2:7-9) Instead of honoring our feeling we should do the right thing, we choose to betray our self, and choose to do the wrong thing.  We then justify our decision by blaming others.  Congratulations!  We have now entered the box of self-deception!

 

(1Samuel 10:8; 1Samuel 13:1-13)

Saul betrayed himself and chose to disobey God’s command through Samuel.  He deceived himself into believing that if he took matters into his own hands he would get God to do what he wanted by disobeying God.  It sounds like Saul was trapped in the box of self-deception!

There are a few things we can remember and apply to avoid being trapped in the same box of self-deception.

Saul got impatient with Samuel, with God.  God gets upset when we get impatient with Him, or His servants.  He gives us some really great advice!

Psalm 27:14, 37:9, 37:34; Proverbs 20:22, Isaiah 30:18, 40:31

God has given us the way out, the way of escape. 

(1Corinthians 10:13)

It’s better if we do not enter that box of self-deception at all and wait on the Lord, however if we recognize that we are in it we can ask God to get us out (repentance).

1. “Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me, and I carry them with me.”

As we examine ourselves before Passover, we really need to ask God to help us out of any box or boxes of self-deception that we may be in.  In order to overcome, we need to recognize what our problems are, right?  If we’re deceiving ourselves we do not see or recognize our problems.  The way we perceive ourselves is most likely not the way God and others perceive us.  We know God’s perception of us is correct.  As we approach Passover, we need to seek the Lord and ask Him to help us see ourselves as He does, and ask Him to help us overcome our problems, our sins.

(Job 13:23; Psalm 69:5; 1Chronicles 16:10-11; Jeremiah 23:22-24; Zephaniah 2:3; Acts 26:17-30)

1. “By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box” (of self-deception).

We see the perfect example of mutual provocation and self-deception back in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:11-13).

And in Ancient Israel (Numbers 13:1-2, 17, 21-23, 25, 27-33; 14:1)

(1Corinthians 3:1-6) We see it in the early days of the church as well.

As we examine ourselves approaching the Passover, we can avoid this self-betrayal and deception of mutual provocation.  We need to trust God, and not give in to fearing man or any other thing.  We should fear God only, and be an example to others like Caleb and Joshua.

 

1. “In the box (of self-deception), we invite mutual mistreatment and obtain mutual justification. We collude in giving each other reason to stay in the box.”

(Hebrews 4:1-11) 1995 falling away.  Mistreatment was involved when ministers turned their back on the truth and taught lies as truth to the people of God, and many chose to believe the lie rather than the truth and mistreated each other by supporting the lie.  They betrayed themselves and God.  They became ensnared in the box of self-deception (2Thessalonians 2:11-12). 

Conclusion:

I too have made that mistake, and thanks are to God because He accepted my repentance and turned me back on the right path.  We all still fall and struggle, and fight our battles so we can overcome.  Getting out of our boxes of self-deception requires that we seek God to help us avoid the behaviors of self-betrayal that lead to self-deception.  We cannot escape self-deception without God’s help.

(1Corinthians 3:1-18)